Reflection

As I prepare for round 2, I decided to read back over my blog from the very beginning and I am so grateful I decided to go ahead and document my journey. For one, I am able to see how far I've come... what Lemtrada has accomplished for me and how rapidly I was declining only just a year ago. It's interesting because people say to me all the time, wow you look so good now! I would just shrug my shoulders and not realise just how bad I was getting as I was too deep in it, I had started to accept the new "norm". Thank goodness I had the people around me to motivate me to say "no, this is not your new norm, this sucks, let's change it up!". I look back now and think how it easy it could have been for me to just curl up in a fetal position, become a recluse, and just wallow in self pity... it was right there... but the people that care and love me kept reminding me that there was more to life than making do with the status quo.

What I have also appreciated about being able to read back my blog is being reminded what the process is like, how it is a rollercoaster ride that can change and turn and halt suddenly, jerky and without notice. I am now better prepared for what it going to happen in 6 short weeks, I know what to expect and how to manage it. Yes it will suck, yes it will hurt, yes it will be horrid. But it will be short lived and the difference now is that I KNOW that the light exists. I KNOW I will be able to see it.

And finally I have been able to reflect back on my relationship, how it's grown, strengthened and developed. I am grateful for so many people in my life, but Nick you are a legend. My legend!

It has been a great month for me. Nothing has held me back. Not once have I been forced to change my plans because of my MS. I have honestly lived life to the absolute fullest. I sincerely hope that for the next 6 weeks I continue living a "normal" life... now this is the new "norm" I could get used to. This is the new "norm" that people with a chronic illness dream about. One that sees you living life without compromise, without adjustment and without excuse.

On Monday I am seeing another specialist regarding some other issues I have been having... if they are MS related I will let you all know about it. But for now I am dreaming about lying on a beach in Fiji in 40 days, 22 hours, 28 minutes and 10 secs, no 9 secs, hang on 8 secs...

Ciao x